Canadian Social Research Newsletter
January 24, 2016

Welcome to the weekly Canadian Social Research Newsletter,
a listing of the new links added to the Canadian Social Research Links website in the past week.

This week's issue of the newsletter is going out to 2,820 subscribers.

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Scroll to the bottom of this newsletter to see some notes, a disclaimer
and other stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with social policy...
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IN THIS ISSUE OF THE
CANADIAN SOCIAL RESEARCH NEWSLETTER:

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Canadian content:

1. Media & Policy News for 22 January 2016 (Jennefer Laidley, Income Security Advocacy Centre)
2.
What's New in The Daily [Statistics Canada]:
--- Consumer Price Index, December 2015 - January 22
--- Income of immigrants: Manitoba, 2013 - January 22
--- Employment Insurance, November 2015 - January 21
--- Income of immigrants: Atlantic provinces, 2013 - January 21
--- Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile, 2014 - January 21
--- Census talk with the Chief Statistician - January 20
--- Income of immigrants: Alberta, 2013- January 20
--- Study: Lifetime suicidal thoughts among First Nations, Inuit and Métis - January 19
-- Income of immigrants: British Columbia, 2013 - January 19
3. What's new from the Childcare Resource and Research Unit

International content:

4. Poverty Dispatch: U.S. media coverage of social issues and programs
5. Child Rights Information Network - CRIN

Have a great week!
Gilles

Gilles Séguin
[ http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/personal.htm ]
[ gilseg@rogers.com ]


1. Media & Policy News for 22 January 2016
(Jennefer Laidley, Income Security Advocacy Centre)

From Jennefer Laidley of the
Income Security Advocacy Centre:
[
http://www.incomesecurity.org/ ]

Latest Media & Policy News: 22 January 2016

http://goo.gl/6L22QS

Click the shortcut link immediately
above to access any of the articles below.

Top Stories

Oxfam: Wealth of richest 1% now equal to other 99%, and 62 people’s wealth now equal to the poorest half of humanity
Here’s how rich those 62 people are
Oxfam calls for a crackdown on tax havens
Wealth of richest 62 people has risen 44% since 2010
“No one credible will say this is good for the world or good for the economy”
“Far from trickling down, income and wealth are instead being sucked upwards at an alarming rate”
Oxfam petition to Prime Minister Trudeau on poverty, inequality, and women’s rights
Spec Editorial: 2016 is the perfect time to fix social assistance
Spec Op-Ed: To fix social assistance, talk to recipients
Yes, social assistance must be fixed, but no one should lose out
Labour Ministry inspection finds 78% of Ontario employers violating the Employment Standards Act
Star editorial: Educate employers on responsibilities to workers
National health ministers agree to tackle drug prices, home care, and mental health
Ontario Health Minister Hoskins on Metro Morning about the potential for a national Pharmacare plan
CCPA Ontario: No “debt wall” in Ontario
Here’s the report: “No Crisis on the Horizon"
Research shows highly skilled second-generation migrants face an “ethnic penalty” – they earn less than the general Canadian population even though they’re more likely to have a university degree
Star letters to the editor: Top CEO salaries are immoral
CCPA: Trans-Pacific Partnership will cost Canada 58,000 and won’t grow the economy
“Just because I’m on welfare doesn’t mean I need to look poor”

Ontario

Is getting the Ontario Works Basic Needs Allowance helping or hindering youth who are homeless?
Ontario moves forward with provincial pension plan
Students calling for a funded tuition freeze in Ontario
Minister of Health says Ontario hospitals will have to offer discounted parking options

Reports, Events, Campaigns

Study: Growing up poor alters children’s brains and increases likelihood of depression
More detailed coverage
CLEO: On the Radar: Misclassifying employees as independent contractors
Canadians for Tax Fairness Book Review: The Hidden Wealth of Nations: The scourge of tax havens
Wellesley Institute Event February 9: Improving Access to Health Care for People who are Uninsured
Mowat Centre report: Back from the Brink: Lessons from the federal-provincial dispute about the Ontario Retirement Pension Plan
Worth Repeating: The impact of converting federal non-refundable tax credits into refundable credits

Around the Province

Goodwill Toronto stores across the GTA close abruptly as CEO says they face “a cash flow crisis”:
Stores will be closed until further notice
Workers blast charity’s CEO over closures
Star editorial: Goodwill must answer questions and rebuild trust
Goodwill CEO says workers will be paid today, and ROEs are on the way
Keenan: Goodwill’s descent is a disagrace
Unions could save Goodwill Toronto from incompetent management
Haldimand-Norfolk has Ontario’s highest percentage of residents without access to healthy food
First ever homelessness count in Thunder Bay underway
Local couple who are homeless express thanks for attention to homelessness
Homeless count turnout overwhelms organizer
People in Thunder Bay who are homeless are hoping the count leads to housing
Hamilton advocates plead for City to continue funding trustee program for people on social assistance
Hamilton Legal Clinic: What is gentrification? And what can we do about it?Frontenac County community group gets Trillium grant for transportation for people on OW and ODSP
Toronto’s anti-poverty strategy overlooks the possibilities of green jobs

Across the Country

NWT mother forced to evict two of her kids to get income support to stay housed
Saskatoon father calls for living wages for child care workers
Quebec daycares protest $120 million in provincial funding cuts
Daycares threaten closures over these cuts
Quebec welfare cuts mean some drug rehab centres can’t treat people who can’t pay the daily fees
Drug and alcohol rehab centres worried about welfare cuts
A majority of Quebecers support principles of the Charter; many express intolerance towards those receiving social assistance
Inuk man who is homeless gave teenager the coat off his back – profile here
EI numbers paint grisly picture in Alberta and Saskatchewan
Edmonton company offers “layoff insurance” to cover six months of mortgage payments
Unemployed oil and gas workers hope for urgent improvements to EI
Federal Finance Minister Morneau says he’s listening to Albertans’ concerns
CBC Atlantic Broadcaster Jackie Torrens discovers what it’s like to live on welfare for one week
Winnipeg “Poverty Fire” event to crowdsource solutions to racism and poverty
Vancouver’s Insite supervised-injection site gets stamp of approval from Health Minister Philpott
Yukon man who has dementia should not be sitting in a jail cell: advocates
Newborn taken from Calgary mother 24 hours after birth despite no concerns about caregiving

National

First Nations seek urgent action on deplorable health conditions
Canada urgently needs a national housing program
The Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women inquiry must deal with indigenous women’s inequality
Advocate says Canada’s refugee system has undergone a “sea change” since the Liberals took over
Hitting pause on resettling Syrian refugees to allow agencies time to find appropriate housing
CPP Investment Board has come out against divesting from fossil fuel companies
The Canadian dollar is falling too far and too fast, making currency instability a big concern
Feds’ two-year $10 billion infrastructure plan to focus on “deferred maintenance backlog” including social infrastructure
2016 Canadian Infrastructure Report Card
Feds wind down controversial CRA political-activity audit program
All Pearson, no Pierre: Inside Trudeau’s inner circle
Preston Manning: Recharging the Canadian right

International

Greek unions to hold general strike on pension reform
Muslim women immigrants must improve their English, or else, says UK’s David Cameron
UK anti-poverty tsar Frank Field says Tories’ welfare reform will fail to make work pay
UK Prime Minister can’t “blitz” poverty by bulldozing housing estates
1.5 million UK benefit claimants may be facing destitution after disappearing from the welfare system
National cashless welfare card “aimed at stemming alcohol abuse” planned by Australia’s government
Nearly half of Washington DC’s homeless youth are LGBTQ
Kansas lawmakers want to cut off welfare benefits for some lottery winners
Legislation to require drug testing of welfare recipients in West Virginia gaining traction
Governor Andrew Cuomo announces $25 million to address “rampant inequality” in upstate New York
How social insecurity propels support for politicians like Donald Trump
Ending poverty is possible: A takeaway from Martin Luther King Jr

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Jennefer Laidley
Policy & Research Analyst
Income Security Advocacy Centre
http://www.incomesecurity.org/

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All of our mailings back to 2012 online:
http://incomesecurity.org/media-and-policy-news/
.

Check the ISAC Media and Policy News archive:
http://goo.gl/I32FD
(Back to August 2012, does not include a table of contents for each issue)

Check Gilles' expanded Media and Policy News archive:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/isac_media_scan.htm
(Back to April 2012, includes a table of contents for each issue)

Subscribe to ISAC's Latest Media and Policy News mailing list:
http://goo.gl/XEGZg

Subscribe to the main ISAC E-List (to receive info on ISAC's law reform work, the social assistance review, and other OW / ODSP -related information):
http://goo.gl/j3gzt

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- Go to the Income Security Advocacy Centre Media Scan page:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/isac_media_scan.htm

2. What's New in The Daily [Statistics Canada]
--- Consumer Price Index, December 2015 - January 22
--- Income of immigrants: Manitoba, 2013 - January 22
--- Employment Insurance, November 2015 - January 21
--- Income of immigrants: Atlantic provinces, 2013 - January 21
--- Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile, 2014 - January 21
--- Census talk with the Chief Statistician - January 20
--- Income of immigrants: Alberta, 2013- January 20
--- Study: Lifetime suicidal thoughts among First Nations, Inuit and Métis - January 19
-- Income of immigrants: British Columbia, 2013 - January 19

What's new from The Daily:
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/dai-quo/a-daily-quotidien-eng.htm

Past issues of The Daily
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/cgi-bin/DAILY/daily.cgi?s=last

[Statistics Canada
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/start-debut-eng.html ]

Statistics Canada
Release schedule for
The Daily:
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/dai-quo/cal3-eng.htm

January 22, 2016
Consumer Price Index, December 2015
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160122/dq160122a-eng.htm
The Consumer Price Index (CPI) rose 1.6% in the 12 months to December, after increasing 1.4% in November. Excluding gasoline, the CPI rose 1.9% year over year in December, matching the increase in November.

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January 22, 2016
Consumer Price Index: Annual review, 2015
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160122/dq160122c-eng.htm
In 2015, the annual average increase in the Consumer Price Index (CPI) was 1.1%. This increase followed gains of 2.0% in 2014 and 0.9% in 2013.

January 22, 2016
Income of immigrants: Manitoba, 2013
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160122/dq160122g-eng.htm
Data from the Longitudinal Immigration Database for Manitoba are now available for 1980 to 2013.

Tables at the national level:
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/151207/dq151207b-eng.htm

January 21, 2016
Employment Insurance, November 2015
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160121/dq160121a-eng.htm
In November, 544,200 people received regular Employment Insurance (EI) benefits, up slightly from October (+3,200 or +0.6%). Provincially, the number of beneficiaries increased in Saskatchewan (+4.6%), Alberta (+2.7%) and Manitoba (+1.9%), continuing an upward trend that has been seen in these provinces since the autumn of 2014.

January 21, 2016
Income of immigrants: Atlantic provinces, 2013

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160121/dq160121g-eng.htm

Tables at the national level:
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160121/dq160121g-eng.htm

January 21, 2016
Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile, 2014
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160121/dq160121b-eng.htm

Family Violence in Canada, 2014 (Infographic)
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/11-627-m/11-627-m2016001-eng.htm

January 20, 2016
Census talk with the Chief Statistician
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160120/dq160120f-eng.htm
Canada is getting ready for its national numerical close-up. This month's StatCan Blog article interviews Chief Statistician Wayne R. Smith about the ongoing preparations for Census 2016. Plans for the upcoming census include the return of the mandatory long-form Census, a statistical tool that helps gather additional contextual information about Canadians.

More Census Talk:
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/eng/blog-blogue/cs-sc/census_talk

January 20, 2016
Income of immigrants: Alberta, 2013
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160120/dq160120g-eng.htm

Tables at the national level:
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/151207/dq151207b-eng.htm

January 19, 2016
Study: Lifetime suicidal thoughts among First Nations, Inuit and Métis
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160119/dq160119b-eng.htm
More than one in five First Nations living off reserve, Métis and Inuit adults reported having had suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives. Prevalence of suicidal thoughts was higher among women in all Aboriginal groups than non-Aboriginal women. This was also the case for men, with the exception of Métis males .

January 19, 2016
Income of immigrants: British Columbia, 2013
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/160119/dq160119e-eng.htm

Tables at the national level:
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/151207/dq151207b-eng.htm

Check past issues of The Daily:
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/cgi-bin/DAILY/daily.cgi?s=last
Select day / month / year to access issues of The Daily going back to 1995.

StatCan Blog
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/blog-blogue/eng
The goal of the StatCan Blog is to pull back the curtain to explain some of the agency’s inner workings, and to show the links between quality statistics and the lives of Canadians.

Source:
The Daily

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/dai-quo/index-eng.htm
[Statistics Canada
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/start-debut-eng.html ]

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- Go to the Federal Government Department Links (Fisheries and Oceans to Veterans Affairs) page:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/fedbkmrk2.htm

3. What's new from the Childcare Resource and Research Unit

What's new from the
Childcare Resource and Research Unit (CRRU):
http://www.childcarecanada.org

January 23, 2016
What's new online this week:

1. Research, policy & practice
- materials include: scholarly research, policy studies and briefs, government and NGO reports

Shared Framework for building an early childhood education and care system for all
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/research-policy-practice/16/01/shared-framework-building-early-childhood-education-and-car
20 Jan 2016 | Canada
Important new document. National early childhood groups have collaborated on a Shared Framework for building an early childhood education and care system for all. Addressed to federal, provincial and territorial governments, the framework outlines three core elements: common federal, provincial and territorial frameworks, a plan for long term sustained funding and system-building shared by federal, provincial/territorial governments and key stakeholders.

An economy for the 1%
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/research-policy-practice/16/01/economy-1
20 Jan 2016 | International
Recent brief from Oxfam examines how the richest 1% have now accumulated more wealth than the rest of the world put together while the wealth owned by the bottom half of humanity has fallen by a trillion dollars in the past five years. They conclude that growing economic inequality is bad for us all – it undermines growth, social cohesion and has severe consequences for the world’s poorest people.

Conflictual and cooperative childcare politics in Canada
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/research-policy-practice/16/01/conflictual-and-cooperative-childcare-politics-canada
20 Jan 2016 | Canada
New paper analyses childcare policy developments in Canada between 2003 and 2005, drawing on qualitative interviews conducted with Child Care Advocacy Association of Canada (CCAAC) staff members, allies from various national childcare organizations, and former elected government officials and policy makers. The authors explore possible conditions in the sociopolitical environment and the internal structure of CCAAC that account for conflictual and cooperative relations with the government at this time.

Lived experiences of unemployed women in Toronto and Halifax, Canada who were previously precariously employed
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/research-policy-practice/16/01/lived-experiences-unemployed-women-toronto-and-halifax-cana
20 Jan 2016 | Canada
Based on a qualitative study of unemployed women’s lived experiences in Toronto and Halifax, this recent article explores the issues surrounding unemployment, including financial impacts, job searching, retraining, and health impacts of unemployment and employment precarity. Researchers find that unemployed women workers face difficulties owing to a lack of supports extended through social programs in the areas of health care, childcare, retraining, and reentering the labour market.

Social determinants of health: A quick guide for health professionals
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/research-policy-practice/16/01/social-determinants-health-quick-guide-health-professionals
20 Jan 2016 | Canada
2012 article from researchers at York University considers the relationship between social factors and health, stressing that well-being is determined by the health and social services received, along with access to quality education and child care, food and housing, and other factors. The authors offer suggestions for health professionals on getting involved in public policy discussions around the social determinants of health.

MORE research, policy & practice
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/research-policy-practice

2. Child care in the news:
- archive of news articles about early childhood education and child care (ECEC) in Canada and abroad

Daycare legislation threatens to nix day camp for tots
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/child-care-news/16/01/daycare-legislation-threatens-nix-day-camp-tots
20 Jan 2016 | Ontario

Workers who lost jobs when daycare closed fight for wage grants
20 Jan 2016 | Ontario

Quebec daycares protest cuts in provincial funding
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/child-care-news/16/01/quebec-daycares-protest-cuts-provincial-funding
20 Jan 2016 | Quebec

Get a grip on inequality, leaders urged in run-up to Davos
20 Jan 2016 | International

Saskatoon father calls for higher wages for child care workers
http://www.childcarecanada.org/documents/child-care-news/16/01/saskatoon-father-calls-higher-wages-child-care-workers
20 Jan 2016 | Saskatchewan

MORE child care in the news
http://childcarecanada.org/documents/child-care-news

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- Go to the Non-Governmental Early Learning and Child Care Links page:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/ecd2.htm

4. Poverty Dispatch: U.S. media coverage of social issues and programs
(Institute for Research on Poverty - University of Wisconsin-Madison)

Poverty Dispatch (U.S.)
http://www.irp.wisc.edu/dispatch
The Poverty Dispatch is a daily scan of U.S. web-based news items dealing with topics such as poverty, welfare reform, child welfare, education, health, hunger, Medicare and Medicaid, etc.. The Dispatch is distributed by the Institute for Research on Poverty, at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. News articles from online newspapers are tagged with more specific keywords relevant to each article.

Click the link above, then (on the next page) select a date on the calendar to see media items for that date.

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Earlier Poverty Dispatches (back to July 2006):
1. Go to the Poverty Dispatch home page: [ http://www.irp.wisc.edu/dispatch/ ] and click on a date in the calendar in the top right-hand corner of the page.
2. Change the month by clicking the link at the bottom of the calendar.
OR
3. Go to the Poverty Dispatch home page and click on a category or a tag in the right-hand margin.
4. See http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/povdispatch_archive.htm (more complete listing, but only goes back to December 2011)

Source:
Institute for Research on Poverty (IRP)

http://www.irp.wisc.edu

University of Wisconsin-Madison
http://www.wisc.edu/

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- Go to the Links to American Government Social Research Links page:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/us.htm

- Go to the Links to American Non-Governmental Social Research (A-J) Links page:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/us2.htm

- Go to the Links to American Non-Governmental Social Research (M-Z) Links page:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/us3.htm

5. Child Rights Information Network - CRIN

Child Rights Information Network (CRIN)
http://crin.org/
CRIN is a global children’s rights advocacy network. Established in 1995, we press for rights - not charity - and campaign for a genuine shift in how governments and societies view and treat children. We link to nearly 3,000 organisations that between them work on children’s rights in every country in the world and rely on our publications, research and information sharing.

Our Vision
CRIN envisions a world in which every child enjoys all their human rights guaranteed by the United Nations, regional organisations and national governments.

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Link to the latest issue of CRINMAIL
(children's rights newsletter):

20 January 2016 - CRINmail issue 1463
https://www.crin.org/en/home/what-we-do/crinmail/week-childrens-rights-crinmail-1463
In this issue:
Latest news and reports
- Ethiopia crackdown on peaceful protesters
- Transparency and accountability
- Child exploitation and debt bondage
- Health crises and starvation
- Responses to blasphemy in Pakistan
Access to justice for children in France
Upcoming events
Employment
Also in this issue:
World news
Publications
Events
Issues
Law
Advocacy
- Challenging breaches
- Take action
- Campaigns
- Guides

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To see a larger collection of issues of CRINMAIL going back to 2011,
click the link below to the period you wish to examine:

Gilles' CRINMAIL Archive I (2014-2015- 2016)
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/CRINMAIL_archive.htm
- includes a table of contents for each issue in 2014 and 2015, as per the above latest issue..

Gilles' CRINMAIL Archive II (2011-2013)
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/CRINMAIL_archive2.htm
- includes a table of contents for each issue of the newsletter for 2011, 2012 and 2013

CRINMAIL Archive (from the CRIN website)
https://www.crin.org/en/crin-mail/864
- incl. links to the complete collection of CRINMAIL newsletters right back to #1 in July 2006
BUT there's no table of contents, so you must click each link to see the content of each issue.

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Subscribe to CRINMAIL English
http://www.crin.org/en/node/293
NOTE : In addition to CRINmail English, you can subscribe to the following newsletters:
* Armed Conflict CRINmail
* Child Rights at the United Nations
* Children in Court CRINmail
* CRINmail EN ESPAÑOL
* CRINmail Francais
* CRINmail in Arabic
* CRINmail in Russian
* Violence CRINmail

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CRIN News Archive
http://crin.org/en/library/news-archive

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CRIN Country Pages : CANADA
http://crin.org/en/library/countries/canada

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Children's rights Wiki - from CRIN
http://wiki.crin.org/mediawiki/index.php
The Children's Rights Wiki assembles all information about children's rights in every country in one place. The purpose of the project is to make the huge volume of information that exists on children's rights more accessible, assist children's rights advocates in identifying persistent violations, and inspire collective action. This is a web-based, multi-lingual and interactive project.

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Canada and Children's Rights
http://wiki.crin.org/mediawiki/index.php?title=Canada
- from the Children's Rights Wiki

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- Go to the Children's Rights Links page:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/chnrights.htm



Disclaimer/Privacy Statement

Both Canadian Social Research Links (the site) and this Canadian Social Research Newsletter belong to me, Gilles Séguin.
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/personal.htm

I am solely accountable for the choice of links presented therein and for the occasional editorial comment - it's my time, my home computer, my experience, my biases, my Rogers Internet account and my web hosting service.

I administer the mailing list and distribute the weekly newsletter using software on the web server of the
Canadian Union of Public Employees (CUPE).
http://www.cupe.ca/
Thanks, CUPE!

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If you don't already receive this weekly newsletter by email but would like to, you can sign up for the Canadian Social Research Newsletter on the online subscription page : http://lists.cupe.ca/mailman/listinfo/csrl-news
...or send me an email message. [ gilseg@rogers.com ]

You can unsubscribe by going to the same page or by sending me an e-mail message [ gilseg@rogers.com ]

------------------------

Privacy Policy:

The Canadian Social Research Newsletter mailing list is not used for any purpose except to distribute each weekly newsletter.
I promise not share any information on this list, nor to send you any junk mail.

Links presented in the Canadian Social Research Newsletter point to different views about social policy and social programs.
There are some that I don't agree with, so don't get on my case, eh...

To access earlier online HTML issues of the Canadian Social Research Newsletter, go to the Newsletter page:
http://www.canadiansocialresearch.net/news.htm

Feel free to distribute this newsletter as widely as you wish, but please remember to mention Canadian Social Research Links when you do.

Gilles

E-MAIL:
gilseg@rogers.com

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Fifty Funniest Jokes

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

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''My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

Source:
http://worldsfunniestjokes.club/top-50-funniest-jokes-in-the-world/
(Click the link for 40 more jokes.)