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Canajun, eh?

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You know you're Canadian if :

You have more Canadian Tire money than legal tender in your wallet
You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk".
You understand the sentence "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my BOWL OF POUTINE" !
You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
You have a Prime Minister who isn't fluent in either of the official languages (English & French).
You know what it means to be 'on the pogey'.
You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh?!"
You can drink legally while still a teen.
You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with very good cigars (and no Americans!).
When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it, instead of telling them to stay out of it.
You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't WANT to know if he has!
You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
You participated in "Participaction."
You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me."
You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
Like any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you possess a Canadian Passport.
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, color, etc.
You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo".
You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
You were mad at the CBC when "The Beachcombers" was taken off the air.
You know what a tuque is and you often wear one.
You have heard of ... and have some cherished memento of Bob and Doug McKenzie.
You know Toronto is NOT a province.
You never miss "Coach's Corner" during Hockey Night in Canada.
Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.
Your car has a cord and plug sticking out of the grill connected to a block heater.
You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more kilometres on your snow blower than your car.
You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
Canadian Tire Store on any Saturday is busier than most toy stores at Christmas.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage.
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo, it's sausage making.
You find -40C a little chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a portable deep freeze.
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorels.
You can play road hockey on skates.
You know four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter and Road Repair.
The municipality buys a  before a bus.
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".
You pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "zed" instead of "zee."
You end some sentences with "eh," ... eh?

Only in Canada

Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.
Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open but chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the
first place.
Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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(;-)
(Received as an e-mail attachment)

Cheers, eh?
Gilles Séguin

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